My mother at the age of seven was given a stuffed bear as a gift, this became her favorite stuffed animal; his name is Sandybear. However, unlike other people, it is still her favorite stuffed animal, as in my mother still sleeps with a 48 year old stuffed bear. I'm not sure when it happened, but over the years she developed a voice for him. When she gave birth to her first and only child, me, she kept up with this voice. You can imagine as a child I loved this, a talking bear! My father however did not. Once, my father was watching me while my mom was at work, and she received a phone call from my father.
“I am not talking like the bear”
“Ok.. you don't have to.” As she's about to say, no one is making you, she faintly hears three year old me screaming and shaking Sandybear.
“TALK! TALK! TALK!”
Later that year, my parents took me on a vacation to northern Canada, we stayed in a remote cottage in the woods. We had been there for a few days, so old food and leftovers had started piling in the outdoor garbage. You know what they say, one man's trash is another man's treasure. Well…The bears in the surrounding area had found their treasure. One morning, my mom and dad soon realized that a bear was actively digging through the garbage on the front porch of the cottage. My father who is trying to take a photo and my mother who is watching in disbelief are completely unaware that I have left to retrieve Sandybear. While I was gone my mother had let curiosity get the best of her, and she had opened the door, which left just the screen in between her and the bear, who is now aware of her presence. Then, all of a sudden I come running with all my naivety and Sandybear in my hands, I push past my mother and open the only thing that was keeping us from the bear.
“Look, look Sandybear! It's your friend!”
I now as a seventeen year old girl have a lot of fears, a lot of fears that three year old me couldn't even pronounce. When I find myself in situations that bring me worry, I often think back, and remember the fearless little girl who was once face to face with a wild animal that was four times the size of her. That same girl now gets scared when she has to walk home alone, she even gets scared when the phone rings, or when it doesn't. A reverse metamorphosis. A butterfly breaks its wings to shy back into her cold, but familiar cocoon.